I keep starting this post and deleting it. I think because our wedding was three months ago and I still don't really know how to talk about it. Not in a "it was so perfect I can't describe it" way. More like, I don't know where to begin because so much happened and half of it was stupid.

If you're searching for an Oahu elopement on a budget, you can find plenty of polished photographs online. What I couldn't find was someone saying what the day actually felt like. We were late. My makeup went wrong. The tide ruined one of our planned photo ideas. My dress got wet. We ate tacos instead of having a reception. And honestly? I would do almost all of it the same way again.

I found it on a website at like midnight on a Tuesday. I'd been looking for weeks and everything was either $2000 or looked like a tablecloth. This one was under $300. I showed my sister and she said "that's the one" and I said "it's $280, there's no way" and she said "just order it." So I did.

Size 16. I'm 5'2 and 195 and I normally wear a 14, but their size chart said 16 and I'm glad I listened because a 14 would've been tight across the chest. That was probably the least glamorous but most useful part of the whole shopping process: I stopped guessing and actually followed the measurements.

For the look I wanted, I kept coming back to lace wedding dresses for romantic outdoor ceremonies. I wanted texture and a little softness without looking like I was heading into a ballroom. I also liked the shape of mermaid wedding dresses for curvy brides, although I ended up choosing something that felt easier to walk around in on sand.

It came in a plastic bag and I tried it on in my living room and my cat sat on the train. The lace was actually nice? Like, I was fully expecting it to feel like a Halloween costume but it was heavy and well-made and the lining didn't itch.

There was one thing I really wish I'd thought about before the wedding: support. There's literally just bra pads in there. No wire, no nothing. I wore a sticky bra from Target that cost like $15 and it worked fine for most of the day, but by hour eight it had started to peel a little. Nobody could see it. I could definitely feel it.

For an outdoor ceremony, that kind of detail matters more than I expected. A dress can look perfect in a product photo and still need a little planning around support, movement, shoes, wind and sand.

We got married in Hawaii. Oahu. Makua Beach, which is on the west side. I'm not going to pretend I knew about it before. I saw a photo on Pinterest, showed it to Jake, and he said "cool." That was basically the extent of our venue research.

We didn't hire a planner. We didn't hire a florist. We booked a photographer we found on Instagram whose portfolio was mostly dogs and surfers, but her one wedding album looked like real life instead of a magazine, so we went with her.

Looking back, the simpler setup was exactly right for us. I wanted something natural and relaxed, which is why destination wedding dresses for outdoor and travel weddings felt more relevant than a traditional formal gown. I kept saving photos of beach wedding dresses for a romantic Hawaii ceremony because that was much closer to what I pictured.

The drive out there is long. Like, over an hour from Waikiki, and the last twenty minutes the road gets narrow and there's nothing but scrub brush and the ocean on your left. We got lost once because Google Maps tried to send us down a dirt road that was clearly not a road.

We were late. Our photographer texted us "no rush" at 6:12 a.m. and we were still twenty minutes out. I was doing my makeup in the car. Well, Jake was driving and I was doing my makeup in the passenger seat with one of those lighted compact mirrors and a makeup wipe between my knees. I don't recommend it. I got mascara on my eyebrow and had to fix it with a wet wipe.

I did my own makeup because I couldn't justify spending $300 on someone else doing it. I practiced twice at home. On the actual day I used the same stuff I use every day, basically.

Tinted moisturizer, concealer under my eyes because I cried the night before from nerves, a little bronzer, and this lip stain I've had in my purse for two years. I curled my lashes and put on two coats of brown mascara. That's it. I set it with powder.

It held up okay. By the end of the day my under-eyes were a little creasy but whatever, it was a twelve-hour day. I wouldn't call the makeup perfect. I would call it mine.

I have curly hair and Hawaii humidity is no joke. I got a keratin treatment before we left because I was terrified of looking like a poodle. On the morning of I just let it air dry in the car with some curl cream and pinned one side back with a flower.

The flower was fake. I bought it at a grocery store in Honolulu for $4. I wanted a real plumeria but by the time we found a place that sold them it was the day before and they were closed. So fake flower it is. You can't tell in the photos. Probably.

The wind ended up being part of the photos instead of something we fought. That also made me appreciate why a lighter, easier silhouette can work so well for an island ceremony. If you're considering one, sheath wedding dresses with a train for beach weddings are worth looking at because they can feel simple while still giving the photographer movement to work with.

Makua Beach is difficult to describe without sounding like every other person who's ever been to Hawaii. The sand is this pale gold and the water is blue in a way that doesn't look real, and there are these black rocks on one side where the waves crash and make this huge white spray.

Behind it are green mountains that look like they're from a movie. It was empty when we got there. Like, three other people total, and they left after an hour. We basically had the whole beach to ourselves until maybe 9 o'clock.

One practical thing I didn't think enough about before the trip was how much walking we'd do. Sand is not normal walking. Neither are wet rocks. I was very glad I hadn't chosen something that made every step feel like a negotiation.

Our friend Sarah officiated. She got ordained online like two weeks before and kept making jokes about it. The ceremony was maybe eight minutes long. I don't remember exactly.

I cried, obviously. Jake cried too, which surprised me because he's not a crier. His voice cracked on his vows and I laughed and then I cried more. Our photographer later said that was her favorite part and I'm like, of course it was. It was the only unscripted part of the whole day.

We took photos for what felt like forever. Our photographer kept saying "just walk, just walk, don't look at me" and we'd walk and she'd take pictures.

Some of them are blurry. Some of them my eyes are closed. Some of them I'm mid-sentence with my mouth half open. Those are the best ones. The ones where I'm posed and smiling perfectly are fine, but the ones where Jake is looking at me like I'm crazy because I just stepped on a seashell are the ones I printed.

There's this one photo of us from behind, holding hands, looking at the ocean. Everyone says it's their favorite. It's fine. I don't hate it.

But my actual favorite is one where I'm walking toward the camera and my dress is caught in the wind and I'm laughing because Jake just told a dirty joke and Lena happened to snap it. You can't even see his face. It's just me, cackling, with a fake flower in my hair and sand on my feet. That's the one that's on our fridge.

We didn't have a reception. We had tacos. After the photos we drove back toward town and found this little food truck place in Waianae and ate fish tacos at a picnic table while still in our wedding clothes.

Jake still had his lei on. I still had my veil clipped to my hair. The guy at the food truck asked if we just got married and we said yes and he gave us a free coconut.

That was the whole reception. It was perfect in a way that an expensive reception probably couldn't have been for us, because there was nothing to manage after the ceremony except where we wanted to eat.

We bought them from a stand on the side of the road on the way out. I don't remember the lady's name. She had a sign that said "FRESH LEI $20" and we each got one.

Mine was white orchids, Jake's was green leaves. They smelled amazing. By the end of the day mine was kind of wilting but in a pretty way. Jake's was still fine because leaves don't wilt as fast.

I kept mine in the hotel fridge for two days before I finally threw it away. I tried to dry the flowers and it didn't really work. They turned brown. Oh well.

We were late. The tide was higher than Lena expected, so the reflection shots she wanted didn't happen. We got some anyway, but not the ones she had in mind.

My sticky bra was peeling. A wave came in higher than we thought and soaked the bottom of my dress. It was fine, it dried, but for about an hour I was walking around with a wet hem that kept sticking to my ankles.

Jake got sunburned on his shoulders because he forgot sunscreen and refused to let me put any on him because "it's only been an hour." He was pink for three days.

• I would leave for the beach earlier. Being late made the morning much more stressful than it needed to be.
• I would bring a better sticky bra and a small emergency kit for the dress.
• I would pack sunscreen where Jake couldn't pretend he forgot it.
• I would bring a towel or garment cover for the car after walking through the water.
• I would still skip the big reception.

Everything else, I guess. Not in a "it was a perfect day" way. More like, the things that went wrong didn't matter.

I thought I'd be upset about the dress getting wet or the makeup creasing or being late, but I wasn't. I was on a beach in Hawaii married to someone who makes me laugh so hard I snort, and we had free coconuts, and the photos are real.

I don't really know how to end this. I guess if you're reading this because you're thinking about getting married somewhere far away and doing it yourself, do it.

If your dream is a simple ceremony outdoors, don't feel like you have to make it complicated. A beautiful dress, a place that means something to you, someone you love standing beside you, and a photographer who understands real moments can be enough.

And if you're choosing a dress for an Oahu beach wedding, I'd still look at boho beach wedding dresses with sleeves or simple lace wedding dresses for outdoor beach weddings. For brides who want more coverage, long sleeve lace wedding dresses for outdoor brides can create that romantic look without feeling too formal for the beach.

But also, bring a better sticky bra than the $15 Target one.

And sunscreen.

Definitely sunscreen.