I’m 71. I’m putting that out there right away because, honestly, that’s the only reason this story is interesting.

If you’re 71 and you’re on your phone, and a sequin prom dress pops up, strapless, corset, slit up to your thigh, your brain does not say, “Ooh, that’s for me.” Your brain says, “That’s pretty,” and then you scroll.

But for some reason, last Tuesday, I didn’t scroll. My husband was sitting on the couch next to me, probably watching football, and I just said, “You know what? I’m buying this.”

He grunted and said, “Fine.”

Honestly, I didn’t know why I wanted it. I think maybe I was just bored.

Now, I’m going to be completely real with you about my biggest hang up. It wasn’t my weight; it was my skin.

My face? I put sunscreen on every day, I’ve got my little creams. But the skin on my arms and my chest? That’s a different story.

This dress is strapless. It leaves your arms and shoulders completely bare. I’ve got these little sunspots on my chest from years of gardening out in the sun without a bra on, and my arms have that loose, crepey texture that just comes with being old.

I looked at the photos online and thought, “I look nothing like this.”

But I put it on anyway.

And you know what? I had to call my neighbor over to help me with the back. You step in, pull it up, and then someone has to pull the corset laces tight, tie a bow, and zip it up.

The corset actually does a lot of work. It cinches you in at the waist and holds everything up like a built in bra. I’m a 36B and I didn’t feel like I was falling out.

It even comes with matching straps, but I took them off because I liked the clean line.

If you prefer a softer metallic shade, I also spent some time looking at champagne prom dresses. There’s something about that warm color that feels especially pretty in evening light.

About that slit. I was dreading it. Thigh high on a 71 year old? But it’s not as bad as it sounds.

When you’re just standing there, the fabric falls right down and you barely see it. Only when I take a step does my leg show.

Honestly, it makes it way easier to walk. If it didn’t have that slit, the skirt would be so tight I’d be waddling around.

For anyone who loves the same rich metallic effect, I understand why gold prom dresses keep catching my eye. Gold changes completely when it moves under evening lights.

The dress actually feels really light when it’s on, which I didn’t expect. It flows, like a real dress.

There’s also this extra panel hanging off the left hip. It’s a bit much, but it’s pretty. You can leave it hanging like a little train, or I figure you could wrap it around your shoulders if you get cold.

I’ve been messing around with it all week, and I haven’t lost a single sequin yet. It’s really well made for the price.

As for the fit: I’m 5'4", 131 pounds, and I usually wear a size 8 or Medium. I got a Medium. It fits like a glove.

I’m wearing 3 inch nude heels with it because my legs are short and the nude color just makes them look longer.

I’ve always liked long formal dresses for evening occasions because they create that instant feeling of being properly dressed without needing ten other things going on.

I have long, platinum blonde hair, and I wore it down, kind of parted on the side and clipped back, because I think an updo would be too stiff with a strapless dress.

I kept my makeup simple. Just a little shimmery eyeshadow and some mascara. I did put a little bit of that shimmering body lotion on my shoulders and chest, though.

It doesn’t cover up the wrinkles or the sunspots, thank God, because I’m not trying to cover up my life. It just gives your skin a little glow so it doesn’t look dry. It’s a neat trick.

I’ve never believed that getting older means you have to disappear into beige. If anything, I think a beautiful evening dress gives you a chance to enjoy the woman you’ve become.

When I finally got everything on, my gold drop earrings, my necklace, and yes, I kept my Apple Watch on with a gold mesh band, don’t judge me, I like counting my steps, I walked out into the living room.

My husband looked up from the TV and just said, “Wow.”

I sent a photo to my daughter, and she said I looked like a queen. I don’t know about a queen, but I felt damn good.

I didn’t feel 25, and I didn’t want to. I felt 71 and fabulous.

Look, I spent years talking myself out of wearing things. I’m done with that.

If you’re my age and you’re looking at this dress, don’t worry about being “too much.” You’re not too much. You’re just a woman in a sparkly dress.

I wore it around the house all day, and I’m going to wear it to my grandson’s wedding next fall. I paid a really fair price for it, and it’s going to last.

I also discovered that I’m not the only person who likes a little old fashioned glamour. Looking through old Hollywood prom dresses made me realize just how timeless a dramatic silhouette can feel.

That’s another reason I’m glad I went with gold instead of something quieter. The color has the drama of a statement dress, but it doesn’t depend on being twenty years old to look good.

If you like a warmer metallic effect, rose gold prom dresses are another beautiful direction.

There is one more thing I would tell women who are worried about showing too much skin. You don’t have to style a dress exactly the way it appears in a product photo.

The matching straps are there if you want them. The shawl can be styled around the shoulders. You can change the shoes, the jewelry, the hairstyle, or even keep a watch on like I did.

The dress is the starting point. The rest is yours.

And if bust comfort is usually the first thing you think about when shopping for formalwear, I completely understand. I spent years thinking about that too. I found it useful to look through dresses for fuller busts before deciding what kind of construction I actually wanted.

That’s it. That’s the story.

Now I’m going to go find another excuse to wear it, because I sure as hell ain’t letting it sit in that bag until fall.